'Nuff said!

Learn to make this Ryan McFarland creation for yourself at Instructables.

As do many professional riders, I face some frigid training conditions during the winter in Europe. As much as I would like you to believe that I'm a machine programmed to crush outdoor training sessions regardless of weather conditions, the fact is, I am a human being, one who has whined plenty and publicly about the challenges of winter training. However, even worse than training with an ice cream headache in freezing fog, is sweating indoors on a stationary trainer.

Like (probably) many of you, I hate the trainer. I really do. I will ride in ridiculous sub-freezing temperatures just to avoid indoor workouts. When I must use the trainer, I have to trick myself into staying motivated. I play music, which limits visual stimuli to the wall or my powermeter (one of which I’m convinced holds the key to slowing the expansion of the universe). I’ve also tried watching movies, which help pass the time, but the plots don't usually motivate good leg-crushing intervals.

Last week I received Hell Hath No Fury from The Sufferfest and was asked to review it. [Full disclosure: I got a free copy for the purpose of writing a review, but am not being paid to endorse it.] I had never tried a Sufferfest workout and had no idea what to expect. Seventy-five minutes later, stunned, spent and staring at a pool of my own sweat, I realized I’d just had fun on the trainer.

What?!

I would not have believed it if I did not experience it myself; let me explain.

Composed of well-curated race footage from the women’s 2011 World Cup races, Hell Hath No Fury guides — no — relentlessly pushes the poor soul on the trainer athlete through a tough-as-nails workout. The video has it all: engaging visuals (bike racing!), killer adrenaline-pumping music for focused efforts, and a story line (peppered with liberal doses of heckling) that motivates from start to finish. In all, a brilliant approach to the evil necessity of trainer workouts.

The video begins by setting up the workout: 2 x 20 minute efforts plus a 3:30 minute effort (with built-in recovery intervals), structured as a stage race to keep you focused and motivated. After a brief warm-up, the race kicks off at full gas. Women’s World Cup footage plays out on the screen with text commanding you to attack, cover moves, surge over hills or sprint for the finish. When you find yourself head-down and cross-eyed in pain, don’t think you can escape those directives just because you can’t see straight: audible cues let you know when to attack again (not unlike the voice of a DS shouting through a radio earpiece during the real thing).

Throughout the workout, the video displays the prescribed level of intensity and counts down the time for each effort (with intermediate instructions to attack and surge - frequently), so you can keep your eyes on the screen, without diverting attention to your bike computer every twenty seconds to see if you’re done yet. Not only does the screen keep you on your toes, following wheels of the world’s greatest women cyclists, but the display also taunts you into digging deeper with most excellent heckling. I admit the thought has crossed my mind that personal hecklers could be the solution to more effective trainer workouts. Herein lies the genius of The Sufferfest – they get in the mind of a cyclist and know what a cyclist needs – a smart, structured workout; good music; attacks to follow; gaps to close; hills to climb and heckling to spur them on to new depths of suffering.

Personally, I love that this video features the women’s peloton. Having done these races myself, reliving the terrain, efforts and speeds got my adrenaline going big time. (And yeah, it was really cool to see my own bike in there and many teammates and friends). Prior to this video’s release, I read a Twitter comment from The Sufferfest about having to edit out attacks, as the women were attacking so often. Let me tell you, women’s racing is fierce. Doubt it? You won’t after Hell Hath No Fury. Totally worth the $11.99 price tag.

Check out the preview:

Amber Pierce - An American expat living in Austria, Amber has made the leap across the Atlantic in pursuit of her dreams on the road. After making a name for herself as one of the top road cyclists in the US, she now faces new challenges in her life on the road in Europe.

Amber's path to full-time racing in Europe has been anything but linear. From high school valedictorian holding national swimming records, to scholarship athlete at Stanford University and researcher on the open ocean, she has found herself in countless adventures all over the globe. With 53 career victories under her belt, however, Amber appears to have found her calling on the bicycle.

Photos: Amber Pierce

For this column, I'm flashing back to my pre-cycling graduate school days, or Amber's Life, B.B. (Before Bike). I hope you enjoy the tangent!

I had finished preparing the surgery station, so I settled into a seat on the upper deck of our 92-foot fishing vessel and took in the view: a yawning afternoon sky over the Pacific ocean. I relaxed and savored the sunshine, knowing this afternoon calm would be cut short at any second by the call: Boil at the stern! Start a chum line!

We had been at sea for nearly four days of a three week voyage. Our research team, comprised of two professors and a handful of grad students, had joined with a crew of seasoned fishermen for a pelagic tagging mission. We had departed San Diego heading south to open ocean off the coast of the Baja Peninsula, in search of bluefin and albacore tuna, which we would catch, tag (via surgical implantation), and release (alive and healthy!) back to the ocean to collect all kinds of neat data for our conservation study. I was one of two women on board, the other woman being my professor and the lead Principle Investigator (PI) on the project.

Sunset in seafood country; open water aquaculture nets visible on the left side of the photo.

As you can imagine, a situation like this presents not only logistical and physical challenges, but also social ones; for example, tension often (not always) arises between researchers (usually conservationists) and fishermen (not usually conservationists). Regardless, the dynamic of two very separate social groups in close quarters requires both scientists and crew to overcome mutual skepticism to effectively work together at sea. Being a woman presented an extra hurdle, but after demonstrating a decent ability to land fish and no qualms in using live bait, cleaning catches, eating raw sashimi (another story altogether) or returning the friendly fire of sarcastic insults, I earned a place of respect among the crew. By day four, we had all settled into a good rhythm of working together.

By good rhythm I mean the coordination of our efforts within the chaos of tag and release fishing. When the fish finder indicated a big school of tuna, all hell would break loose. The announcement Boil at the stern! would sound over the speakers, and all hands would scramble to deck regardless of time of day or night. Crew members would toss bait in the water while others grabbed their lines and prepared to cast. I would prep the surgery station for the tagging process: a quick surgical implant that had to be completed (i.e. from incision to stitches) within minutes of bringing a fish on board. As you might imagine, when the catch was good, we could have ten or more fish going through surgery and release in less than thirty minutes. It was intense and exhilarating, but between the frenzies of fishing and tagging, idle hours could languish interminably.

We used our down time to compile data, ready ourselves for the next catch, or prepare fillets from fish too injured to be released (not too many). After four days at sea, however, I was restless, because despite the excitement and exhaustion of tagging, I wasn’t getting any real exercise. Our boat was big and relatively stable as boats go, but not stable enough to allow for jogging laps of the deck without risking serious injury (wet decks did not bode well for my klutzy nature), nor were there any good bars or pipes to use for pull-ups (clearly this was before my cycling days). Swimming would amount to (wo)man overboard and was not permitted. I was desperate.

Albacore in the water

Where there’s a will there’s a way, as they say, so I headed below deck to my bunk and did a set of sit-ups, crunches and leg raises (our PI had her own bunk and being the only other female, I did too -- a rare luxury). I felt better, but not as good as I would after an aerobic effort. So I began jogging in place, alone in my bunk below deck for twenty minutes (I know). That did the trick, however, and man did I feel good!

Each day I added something new: push-ups, dips, jumping jacks, one-legged hopping or high-knee jumps (low ceilings below deck), and began increasing the intervals to thirty and forty-five minutes. After a few days of solo exercise, I finally shared my extremely dorky workout idea with the rest of our team. As it turned out, most were suffering the same malaise, so we created a group session and made it into a game.

The game was to simulate a run on the coastal trail near our lab back in Monterey. It was tight quarters below deck, so we lined up single file facing the “leader” who would lead for ten minutes and then switch with another. We would start by jogging in place, as the leader described the scene: We’re at Cannery Row; a tourist bus is about to unload, so we have to sprint to get past the pier before the tourists hit the ground! We’d then sprint in place until the leader said we were in the clear and could resume a normal pace. Then: Okay just hitting the stretch to the aquarium, but look out! Seagulls attacking! Drop! Thus, we’d drop and do push-ups until the leader called all clear. Et cetera. The game would go on until we’d done close to an hour of exercise, often laughing in hysterics at the random antics each leader would throw into the mix.

As days turned into weeks, and the newness of our circumstances began to fade into routine, this little tradition became our daily shot of energy and renewal. We emerged refreshed and ready for whatever chaos the ocean might throw our way. Our group would sometimes double in size as the appeal of an endorphin rush seemed contagious.

I took inspiration from this memory for my off-season training this year. No, I’m not on a boat, but neither do I want to shell out big bucks for a gym membership. Recalling what intense workouts we used to do with no equipment whatsoever, I started crafting a program I could do at home. With some creative new suggestions from my coach, I’ve got a full-body strength training program that kicks my a-- at home for free. Even better? I get to play my own music and sing along at will, without offending anyone.

Don’t get me wrong; a gym membership can be fantastic. You get access to good equipment and can workout with a trainer or with friends for company. Even the membership fees can provide extra motivation and accountability. But the gym isn’t for everyone.

If you’re looking for a good way to build muscle, strength and flexibility without going to the gym, I’ve got some suggestions for you. My workouts obviously focus on cycling fitness, but they can definitely apply to general fitness or other sports (for example, my husband does the same workouts to prep for the coming ski season). In my next column, I’ll cover some of these exercises for your consideration. Perhaps you can start a fitness routine at home, or incorporate them into whatever gym work you’re already doing.

Check out the gallery below for more images from the tagging mission. Your questions and comments are most welcome!

Thanks for reading,
Amber

Amber Pierce - An American expat living in Austria, Amber has made the leap across the Atlantic in pursuit of her dreams on the road. After making a name for herself as one of the top road cyclists in the US, she now faces new challenges in her life on the road in Europe.

Amber's path to full-time racing in Europe has been anything but linear. From high school valedictorian holding national swimming records, to scholarship athlete at Stanford University and researcher on the open ocean, she has found herself in countless adventures all over the globe. With 53 career victories under her belt, however, Amber appears to have found her calling on the bicycle.

Photos: Amber Pierce

...like being immortalized in wax.

I know that supposed to be Lance Armstrong, but it kind of looks like actor, Ralph Fiennes from The English Patient. Happy Friday.

Photo: Paul Hawthorne/Getty Images

As the apparent tensions, war of words, between now former Astana teammates continues to be played out in the media, we take a closer look at the final outcome of this year's Tour de France. So without further adieu...fresh from the home office in Omaha, NE, here are the Top 10 Reasons Lance Armstrong Did Not Win the 2009 Tour de France.

10. More hair equals more weight, equals slower time.

In comparison to the closely shorn Armstrong of 2005 (left), the 2009 version looked more like Vladimir Karpets than Levi Leipheimer. As the weight weenies of cycling know, any extra weight can have a deleterious effect on the all important power to weight ratio in the mountains. Although the weight of a single hair is relatively negligible, the combined weight of Armstrong's grown out lid may have been responsible for his final time deficit of 05:24.

One theory being floated for Armstrong's increased hair length was for its extra protection. With Giro once again lightening their helmets, from the Ionos to the Prolight, it was postulated that the combined tensile strength of a fuller head of hair would serve to enhance the helmet's CPSC and CEN safety ratings. According to Dr. Hermann Beigel's 1869 book, "The human hair: its structure, growth, diseases, and their treatment," a single 8" long hair possesses the strength to bear two ounces.

Thus, the extra grams of weight, and therefore the time sacrificed may have been done solely for safety reasons.

9. Feeding the Twitterati turns into all-nighter

Going all the way back to his days with Discovery Channel, Armstrong was eagerly waiting for the advent of a social networking tool such as Twitter. When asked one evening by his long time Director Sportif, Johan Bruyneel, why he would sit up nights with his laptop open, but without his fingers moving, Armstrong would reply with the story of how the engineers in a small Italian village laid down train tracks well before a train would ever reach the town. "It's because they knew one would eventually come," he would end the story emphatically.

8. Knock, Knock. It's time to take some more blood and urine.

7. Tweeting while ascending Mont Ventoux.

While video evidence was unavailable to fully substantiate whether Armstrong's cyclo-computer was actually an iPhone mounted to his handlebars, the Twitter feed obtained from his website, above, tells a different story.

6. Due to poor signal strength, Armstrong unable to download latest iPhone Spanish translation app.

5. Knock, Knock. "Lance, its Chris. Time for another LIVESTRONG.com video update."

4. Miscommunication with Contador during crucial mountain stages; only Spanish he remembered from his last Tour participation was, Venga, Venga, Venga!

3. Official Dominican birth certificate states Lance is actually 45! Who knew...

2. Knock, Knock. "What? Another doping control…c'mon guys this is the 30th time this morning!"

1. Worked late nights with new Team RadioShack developing wireless communication. Ground Control to Major Tom...READY for 2010!

Meanwhile, The Onion breaks down Alberto Contador's Strong side & Weak side.

"Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer." - Sun-tzu

"With friends like these, who needs enemies." - Unknown

Its incredibly hard keeping up with Lance Armstrong. One day Our Boy Lance (OBL) is opening up his new Austin bike shop, Mellow Johnny's, the next he's speaking at the Ohio State University Medical Center for a LiveStrong Day event, and then he's having dinner with Kate Hudson.

Wha?

Yes, there were many reports that had the two having a jovial and intimate dinner together, while others debunked the idea that the two were even an item.

Rather than jump into the tawdry foray with both Olsens, I thought it was best to wait for more substantive evidence.

Hello Cannes!

According to the Daily Mail,

In a move which is bound to cause ex-boyfriend Owen Wilson further heartbreak, actress Kate Hudson stepped out with her new love - and Wilson's friend - cycle legend Lance Armstrong.

The pair were seen leaving their hotel in Monaco together to take a boat trip.

They arrived in Monaco after partying at designer Dolce and Gabbana's party in Cannes where they were seen kissing and cuddling.

The most surprising thing in the recent Cannes report is that this isn't the first of Wilson's former flames that OBL has honed in on.

It is the second time Armstrong, 36, has moved in one of Wilson’s exe’s.

He previously had a three-year romance with singer Sheryl Crow only to see Armstrong move in after they split and get engaged to the pop star.

A source said: "Kate and Lance have been dating for a couple of weeks. She thought it was funny when people were writing recently that she was engaged to Owen because the reality was that they had split again and she was secretly seeing Lance.

I don't know if this is a new trend for OBL, like going after 7 Tour victories, but if I'm Owen Wilson I'm not going to stick around to find out.

May is Bike Month, and this week (May 12th - 16th) is Bike to Work Week. To kick it off, we bring you the latest New Belgium Brewery video, Bike More. Enjoy!

For more Follies from the Fort Collins, CO brewery or to join Team Wonderbike, click HERE.

Neil Young once wrote that “it’s better to burn out than to fade away.” In the case of David Lee Roth, Young may have been correct as these days the formerly long-haired, high jumping front man for Van Halen looks more like the Director Sportif of Slipstream-Chipotle.

The paparazzi of Jezebel.com finally caught up with Lance Armstrong and a certain blonde in New York, but its not quite who you think.

With OBL no longer having to be "on his bike 6 hours a day," its become readily apparent that his next favorite mode of transportation is a plane, as he was seen courting another blonde, Matt Damon in this case, at the Sky Bar in Miami last Tuesday.

Yes, that's right kiddies, according to uber producer Frank Marshall, the Lance Armstrong biopic, is still "pedalling" forward with Damon being the leading candidate to play OBL.

MTV recently caught up with Marshall:
“It’s still on the front burner. We still want to do it. I just talked to Lance yesterday about it. He’s gung ho,” Marshall enthused. “I’m going down to see him next week to kind of regroup and see if we can’t go forward and do something next summer.”

Photo: Seth Browarnik/WireImage
]]> http://triplecrankset.com/2007/12/tour-de-blondes/feed/ 0 http://triplecrankset.com/2007/11/cycle-sexualist/ http://triplecrankset.com/2007/11/cycle-sexualist/#comments Tue, 20 Nov 2007 02:47:00 +0000 Lenny B http://66.147.242.184/~triplec8/?p=926

When I lived in the Windy City, I always looked forward to the weekly newspaper, The Reader. One of my favorite sections was "The News of the Weird," where absolutely bizarre news stories were printed.

The following from the BBC certainly qualifies...

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.

Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'." [MORE]

I feel dirty for just having typed that.
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